Success Nuggets with Frank (Parenting)

RealMen Initiative | Professional & Accredited Business Men & Women in Nigeria


The options in life are never easy. And no one ever said it would be. It has been said that part of growing up means having to make tough decisions. Some times in life, one is confronted with two necessary options and constrained to pick just one. The ability to pick the option that would further our course in life and at the same time, reduce the negative consequences of the alternative foregone to the barest minimum is a blessing.

One of such tough choices are between Good Life and Good Parenting. Does the options appear controversial? Let’s demystify them.

Good Life in this context refer to that kind of life that every parent want to give to their children. The kind that every parent will go out of their way to provide. It is the kind of life that offers a ride to school with a driver, money in the bank or wallet and at the children’s disposal. It is also that kind of life that offers a child everything he/she desires just by placing a call through to daddy or mummy. That kind that offers shopping in Paris and holiday in Abu Dhabi. How desirable. In summary, it offers money in place of presence.

Good Parenting on the other hand is not exactly opposite to the former except that the preference is presence over money or material things. It is that kind which offers a ride with daddy or mummy to school and pickup afterwards. Homework or play with either parents, correction when wrong, etc.

On a general note, Parenting is defined as the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood. This applies to both Good Life and Good Parenting mentioned above. While both of them are parenting styles, the contrast being made here is the preference between money/material things and presence.

Parents whose approach to parenting is to give their children The Good Life would do anything and sacrifice anything, including the emotional needs of their children, to provide same. These kinds of parents are career parents, big time business parents, politicians, etc. Conversely, parents whose approach to parenting is Good Parenting would rather be at home with their children than pursue career or business.

It is customary to hear them say things like “everything I do is for my children.” To a large extent, this is true; however, the best thing any parent can give to their children especially at their formative ages is THEMSELVES – their time and presence. It would be a major disadvantage for both parents and children that children grow up knowing money or material things more than they know their parents.

It should be noted that the most important need of children is not money or gadgets but the warmth of their parents (good parenting) that is provided by the presence of either or both parents.

To be continued…

Franklin Onoben is a Pastor, Counselor and Career coach and a member of REALMEN INITIATIVE under Seminars

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